Zombie Holiday Video: TeamUnicornFTW

Toilet Tissue

                                    Image via Wikipedia

My breaking news....

Toilet tissue mysteriously appears in my house. Could it be fairies? No. Could it be ghosts? Ghosts do not shop. Wait a minute, I haven't died so I guess I could be wrong. I will just have to postulate.  Hey, that doesn't sound really good does it?  Postulate. Funny sounding word I don't use often. Kind of like stoic. Not a word used often and it's hidden in the college dictionary.Why?

Pet Peeve of the Day...

Could you kindly please order from the Burger King menu is the next 2 minutes? They haven't changed it in the last 20 years. Hello?!?! History lesson. NOTE: I'm not an employee of BK 

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• Burger King's New Jalapeño and Cheddar BK Stuffed Steakhouse Now Available (aht.seriouseats.com)
• Iowa prison inmates to make own toilet paper: report (news.nationalpost.com

***Addendum: BK just added the Jalapeno and Cheddar Stuffed Steakhouse***

Holiday Gift Guide For The Home Haunter

OOhhhh, it wasn’t bought at Jared’s but who cares! She won’t!

Let’s make her glow with one of Lynne Bruning’s dresses!

I love this Ghillie Suit and it’s the perfect touch for any camp fire story! That is if you can keep all the children from running off!  Actually I did ask for this item for Christmas but we’ll see if I get it.

Tim Burton’s Halloween Clock

2-Pc. Tim Burton's The Nightmare Before Christmas Bust Set Disney Store

Want something a little more special? Schedule a photo shoot with a professional photographer. It’s always nice to remember how young we once were and having a memento would greatly add a personal touch to your Halloween home decor. Hint: Most women love dressing up so maybe schedule her a day at the spa on the day of your shoot and finish it off with special dinner plans. It's just 9 days until Christmas and the clocking is ticking!

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• 'Home haunters' get high-tech for Halloween (cnn.com)
• If Tim Burton Made Superman.... (perezhilton.com)
• The Skeleton Goes Next to the Table: An Author Success Story (lulu.com)

5 Things I Love About Duct Tape

1. Great lint remover
2. Ask the kids if they want to play Houdini, no need for straight jacket use tape instead.
3. It’s now available in many colors from pink to camo. Go figure.
4. Strong enough to tape tv remotes, keys, and tv guide to ceiling.
5. On a serious note, great for boating. Never ever leave without it. You don’t know if you’ll have to tape driver to steering wheel.

What’s Cooking: Surviving The Economy

Since I worry my dinner guests anyway, I put together our super special southern survival dinner. The menu:

Today’s Road Kill Speshal:

• Tobacco Possum with engine smoked turnips
• Deep-fried owl with crock-pot corn pone
• Toaster oven chit’lin succotash and sugar-fried biscuits.

What does this have to do with Halloween? Nothing, it’s called going out of mind and I’m taking a few with me *laughing*. Since it’s Christmas, I have a tip on how to wrap your favorite annoying friend’s gift…
Items you’ll need:

1. plywood
2. lots of screws (drywall screws)
3. screw gun
4. back up battery

Cut plywood to size, screw every 1/2” around perimeter on both sides and be sure to drain battery. On the day you give your lucky friend their gift don’t tell them you drained the battery, it’s the whole point of dragging this ordeal out. Your friend will be anticipating on what’s inside the box to only be aggravated because of a dying screw gun… but their determination keeps them going anyway. When the gun is dead then give them the fully charged battery…you’ll get a few laughs or at worst you’ll get smacked!

Want to exchange gifts with me? *cackling*

Meet This Year’s Mrs. Grinch!

Yep! That would be me and with good reason. I don’t have a job so there isn’t a lot to be merry about. Yes, I’m thankful for what I have…*thinking*…*thinking*…ah yes… I’m thankful I still have toilet tissue!!!

I hope to be back to my wicked chipper self soon and if you have been reading this, thank you and I truly hope your Christmas will be a merry one!

Blowing raspberries….sorry.